The holidays are here—can you feel it?
Twinkling lights, festive tunes, and the delightful smell of cinnamon-spiced everything fill the air. Alongside this cheer comes the less glamorous side of the season—etiquette sometimes gets buried under the hustle and bustle.
2024 brings unique holiday challenges. In-person office parties make a full-throttle comeback, family gatherings are as lively (and awkward) as ever, and questions abound: Do we tip more? Should I avoid talking politics? What’s the protocol for screen time during visits?
For anyone heading into the holiday season, whether for work parties or hosting events socially, we have brought in etiquette expert Pamela Eyring, president and owner of The Protocol School of Washington, to put your anxieties at ease with four etiquette tips to keep top of mind this holiday season. Pamela recently published The Holiday Etiquette Survival Guide for 2024 and was featured on Fox News Digital with insights on how to run a smooth holiday gathering this season.
Q: What do you recommend to rock the office party like a pro?
Pamela: Whether you’re the life of the party or more of a wallflower, office holiday gatherings are worth your time. They’re a chance to connect, celebrate the year’s wins, and enjoy some free snacks. But before you grab that extra cocktail, keep these tips in mind:
- Plan Ahead: Eat a little something before you go (no one likes a hangry partygoer), and pick an outfit that is festive yet professional.
- Keep it clean: Avoid messy, greasy hors d’oeuvres. Choose foods you can eat with a fork or a toothpick so your hands and clothes stay clean.
- Moderate Like a Star: Pace yourself with beverages, alternating with water, and avoid overindulging. Holding your head high on Monday is much easier if you don’t dance on the conference table.
- Stay Socially Sleek: Keep your drink in your left hand so your right hand is ready for handshakes. (Bonus: your right hand won’t be cold and wet when you shake hands!)
- Break New Boundaries: Instead of spending the evening with your office buddies, get out of your “comfort zone” and mingle with people from other departments.
- Be Visible: This may be the only time you see the president, CEO, or other VIPs and therefore makes for great timing to engage meaningfully and create a lasting impression.
If you’re invited to the boss’s house for holiday merriment and wondering whether to bring a gift, the answer is yes! A thoughtful token, like a unique ornament, homemade holiday cookies or something the host can use immediately, is always a winner. (Hint: skip the wine—it’s overdone, and wine drinkers are picky).
Gratitude goes a long way, especially during the holidays. Party planning is often a thankless task, so before the night ends, thank the host or the team that made it all happen. A little acknowledgment can mean the world and leave a lasting impression.
But what if gathering in person isn’t an option?
Leaders, don’t let that stop you from celebrating your team. Host a virtual happy hour, and take it up a notch by sending out festive baskets filled with goodies for everyone to enjoy.
It’s a creative way to recognize their hard work and make them feel appreciated.
Then there’s the tricky subject of holiday bonuses. Unless your contract guarantees one, it’s best not to count on it. If the company’s finances allow, you might receive a bonus as a gesture of appreciation—or a way to offset end-of-year taxes—but remember it may not always come in cash form.
Regardless, focusing on gratitude for what you do can make this season all the more meaningful.
Q: How much should people tip at the holidays?
Pamela: The season of giving wouldn’t be complete without showing gratitude to those who’ve made your life easier all year. Tipping can feel overwhelming—especially with everyone asking for it these days—but remember, it’s about saying thank you.
- Consider holiday tipping as an expression of thanks based on your relationship and the service. Given in the form of cash or a gift card, the amount of your tip should be based on several factors including:
- The quality of the service received.
- The length and nature of your relationship with the individual.
- The value you place on the service (think nanny versus newspaper deliverer)
- Who to Tip. Think of those who make your life run smoothly:
- Child/family caregivers
- Doorman
- Superintendent/Custodian
- Delivery Professionals (who make regular visits – from the Amazon Prime, Fedex or UPS driver to your US mail carrier)
- Parking Attendant
- Housekeeper
- Gardener/Landscaping professionals
- Serving staff at your favorite restaurants
- Hair stylist
Pro tip: homemade treats or personalized items are perfect for adding a dash of magic without breaking the bank. A heartfelt note or a small, thoughtful gift can be meaningful.
The holidays are an opportunity to support the supporters, but how you achieve that can be as unique as you and your circumstances.
Q: What etiquette advice do you have for gift giving at work and personally?
Pamela: Ah, gift-giving—the heart of the holidays! But sometimes, it’s a little trickier than it seems. Here’s the lowdown on keeping your gifting game strong:
- To Regift or Not to Regift: If you do, ensure the item is pristine, not personalized, and far removed from the original giver’s social circle. Otherwise, skip it—it’s not worth the awkwardness!
- Small But Mighty Gifts: For acquaintances or co-workers, think simple yet meaningful. A cute desk plant, a locally made treat, or even a cheery holiday card goes a long way.
- Wrap It Up Right: Elevate your gift’s presentation with thoughtful details—use wrapping paper, a gift bag with tissue, or a ribbon for a special touch.
- Gift Cards Over Cash: A gift card feels more personal and considerate than handing over cash while still offering flexibility.
- Don’t Skip the Card: Always attach a card or gift tag to personalize your present and share a thoughtful message.
- Include the Receipt (When Needed): Adding a gift receipt can make exchanges hassle-free and ensure your gift is genuinely appreciated.
Of course, there is always the dreaded gift-giving miscommunication, the awkward moment when one person shows up with a gift and the other doesn’t—it happens more often than you think. The key is to keep your cool.
Thank them warmly for their thoughtful gesture, and don’t make a big deal about not having a gift to give in return. You can follow up later with a small gift and a heartfelt thank-you card to show appreciation.
Finally, as families grow and the holiday list gets longer, gift-giving can start to feel overwhelming—and expensive. Instead of piling up presents, why not suggest a shared experience? A family outing to a favorite restaurant or a group trip can become a cherished tradition, creating memories far more meaningful than another pair of socks or a holiday-themed mug.
Q: Why do you think it’s important to stay focused on spreading joy versus drama this holiday season?
Pamela: The holidays are magical, but they can also be emotional minefields. Keep the season merry by treading lightly:
- Avoid Polarizing Topics: Politics, social debates, or Aunt Linda’s new boyfriend—leave these off the table, literally and figuratively at this year‘s holiday gathering.
- Mind Others’ Feelings During this Season: Not everyone finds the holidays joyful. Be compassionate with those dealing with loss, loneliness, or stress.
- Celebrate Inclusively: “Happy Holidays” is a friendly way to embrace everyone’s traditions. Remember, kindness and respect never go out of style.
For some, the holidays bring warmth and joy, but for others, they can be a bittersweet reminder of loss, making the season feel anything but festive. Thoughtful gestures can go a long way in spreading kindness during this time.
If someone in your life is struggling this season, compassion is the most meaningful gift you can give. Sharing resources like the National Alliance on Mental Illness, BetterHelp or GriefShare can provide much-needed support, showing that even in difficult times, they’re not alone.
With a little mindfulness and a sprinkle of sparkle, you can make this holiday season your most gracious and festive. Whether at the office, with family, or catching up with friends, thoughtful etiquette transforms chaos into connection.
